Problems with dating single mums

The other half knew this and regularly 'played dead', knowing I would stand to attention if he seemed to be in a deep sleep.

I soon got wise to that and became adept at elbowing his middle-aged belly to ensure he answered the call to milk.

Well, I gave birth two years ago - aged 40 - after what can only be described as a fantastic pregnancy: no piles, no blood pressure problems and an intact perineum thanks to an elective caesarian section.

Parenting is like a constant exam, especially in the early days. Just one small event - from a new tooth to being struck down with croup - can change your entire week.

So I made a decision: instead of watching the washing machine go round while waiting for the next feed or nappy, I would show my daughter the world. She dined in the best restaurants, shopped till she dropped and was airborne as soon as she could get her hands on a passport. I was coping as well as any twenty or thirty-something mum.

I recalled how, when we got our puppy, the vet said it was important to socialise them early. But then one day I was faced with a drooling horror. In my heyday I slept like I was under general anaesthetic, but now I was hardly shutting my eyes.

No one in my social network had recently spawned an offspring. The new mums I met, although charming, were half my age.Instead, you screech through the door late in the morning with baby sick on your skirt and spend the day checking up on your childminder, counting down the minutes until you can be reunited with your precious one.

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